The Story behind ‘Curse of the Blue Vagina’ by Jonisha Rios
August 4, 2016 by thedarkphantom
The book is a collection of produced plays that I transformed into narratives. Many people ask me if there is any truth to my first story the “Curse of the Blue Vagina”, and the answer is yes and no. After all, aren’t most fictional works loosely based on a single grain of truth?
For me the event that triggered “the curse” was when I found out my then ex- boyfriend was courting numerous chicks behind my back. He lived with me while I worked and paid bills. He also used my computer, and on that same computer was where I found countless emails to other women. In some cases women knew about me and didn’t care. Some told him outright that he was doing was not ok. Others simply nonchalantly ignored his obvious flirtatious comments. And the few that grew tired of him pursuing would put a stop to it all together even when his response was “My girlfriend is ok with it.” It was total bullshit. It was one thing to want some attention but it was an obvious disregarding of my feelings. You want to do that stuff don’t live with me.
I was not clear why he would stick around if he was obviously not into me. I decided to research and learn about myself as a result and I became determined to get to the root of why I was attracting a person who had bad character when I myself really believed I was the straight up type. Then one day while riding the subway I heard someone say it clearly. “You allow people to abuse you as much as your willing to abuse yourself.” I thought Hmmm, I wasn’t valuing myself in my relationships and it was showing up all over the place particularly in my intimate relationship. You teach people how to treat you. And that was it. My eyes were opened – but that wasn’t enough to leave and that bugged me.
Although the ex claimed that nothing happened with those women, I wondered why he didn’t leave either? Was he waiting for them to make a move? Or just avoiding failure by keeping what he had? Fast forward and I still continued to attract this type of tactless character.
It was then that I decided to look toward my created character Cassandra to support with getting over the pain of another heart break. Only this kind of heartbreak was odd feeling. So Cassandra went on a journey through time to figure out the answers for herself.
Writing this book was a healing experience for me because I found we are all genuinely responsible for our own happiness. Yet oftentimes so many of us put our hearts into the hands of another expecting them to be that person that would make us whole. Thing is that person is committed to doing whatever makes them happy in the moment. Especially if their fulfillment is based on ego. It was an epiphany I realized through the character of Cassandra. She taught me that it was never anyones job to be your hero. Thus Cassie’s journey takes us on a funny ride where she discovers that for herself.
The second story is based on an experience I had with while living with my aunt that had cancer. This story was my dedication to her. And the third piece, well that is my love letter to my girls. I interviewed several different women over the years and was inspired to write this loosely based on some of the stories they shared.
Overall, the inspiration for my pieces in this book, stemmed from heartbreak, loss of a loved one, and the empowerment that only comes from surrounding yourself with awesome female friends.